Warning: This post is cruel, and will not go down well with animal lovers. Personally I am against the actions that I will proceed to describe in this post, but yes, I have been guilty of indulging in and encouraging it :(

On the day I got back to Salasaca after my one week travel break, everyone decided to get some beer. They claimed it was to celebrate my return, but flattering as it was, I was inclined to believe that my return simply happened to coincide with their drinking plans. Once enough beers were downed, Nicolas, Colin, Matt & I decided to get out there and slap some sleeping pigs.

The first victim was obviously the poor pig who’s always tied to a pole bang opposite our hostel door. Nicolas crept up to him very very quietly, and gave him a hard slap on the back which made him jump up with a grunt, and had us rolling on the ground clutching our stomachs. When we had recovered, one of either Colin or Nicolas came up with the wonderful suggestion that none of us would go to sleep unless all 4 of us had slapped at least one unsuspecting pig.

A peacefully sleeping pig

Nicolas flees in euphoria after a successful slap

So off we went down the moonlit road in the middle of the night looking for sleeping pigs to slap. We found a large one barely 5 minutes later, and Colin decided that this one was his. He snuck up behind it and gave it such a hard whack that it was up in a flash in a large plume of dust, and we were once again falling over ourselves with laughter.

It was slim pickings after that, and despite going on a long walk, we didn’t come across any more in our normally pig-rich area. The frustration was too much for Nicolas to handle and he started going after anything with four legs from a horse to a cow to a sheep. One of the cows almost came chasing after us, but was thankfully well secured to its pole. Finally we gave up looking for other pigs, and decided to go back to our old 2 victims, who we were quite sure would be fast asleep by now.

Sure enough, Colin’s pig was passed out when we got to it, and it was decided that it was my turn to lose my pig-slapping virginity. I did well to silently creep up to within striking distance, but as soon as the movie of my would-be slap started playing in my head, I couldn’t control my giggling. That was enough to wake the pig up and let it scamper away, so my score remained zero. This meant that the pig opposite the hostel would be the next target, and once again it would be me who would have a go at it.

This pig was also catching some z’s, but my showmanship of rubbing my palms and kissing them got him out of his slumber; and I only managed a miniscule three-fingered slap. I had been a total let-down so far, and Matt hadn’t had a go yet. With no more pigs in the vicinity, we decided to wait for our buddy to go back to sleep. The wait was way lesser than we had anticipated, as barely 2 minutes later the pig slumped and dozed off. Matt stealthily approached it, raised his hand high over his head and produced a resounding slap to much amusement for us sadists.

Since all of us had had a go, it was time to get back to the hostel; but Nicolas hadn’t had enough. This time, he didn’t even wait for the pig to go back to sleep. He chased it around its pole, and didn’t stop until he had given it one last parting slap!

Nicolas even creeps up on pigs still awake

That's what a pissed-off pig looks like